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Episode 098 - Trippity Do Da with Stephen Markley

Author, columnist and guy Stephen Markley returns to the podcast to discuss his new e-book, The Great Dysmorphia, in which he details doing mushrooms at a Republican Presidential debate, plus hot talk about Twitter obsession, the never-offensive world of online comments, The Dark Knight Rises gets the business, pool table fantasies, Stephen’s leg-opening trip to Iceland, the Curiosity landing, politics and male on female scissoring. Plus more!

out of context quote:

“That’s because you’ve grown up poor.”

Direct Download: 2012.08.16_WL_098_-_Trippity_Do_Da_with_Stephen_Markley.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen Right Here: [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.08.16_WL_098_-_Trippity_Do_Da_with_Stephen_Markley.mp3]

LINKS

Check out The Great Dysmorphia (available August 23rd), Stephen’s column Off The Markley, and Twitter: @StephenMarkley

Hank’s website: SuckProfessor.com and Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

Jeff don’t get links till he promotes the show on facebook.

FUN ACTION OPPORTUNITY

Sign in to iTunes and leave us a positive review. It ACTUALLY makes a difference, believe it or not. Plus it’s your chance to be a good person. Also, vacuum your furniture every once-in-a-while. You’ll be amazed by the results!

Episode 097 - That’s What Sheehan Said with Mike Sheehan

Comedian Mike Sheehan returns to the podcast for a discussion about killer whales, primate penis design, the value of drinking, the value of money, politics and prisons, Mike faces a career newspaper thief in his building and a hipster coffee shop gets Sheebrunnered. Plus much much more!

out of context quote:

“Also nobody’s having sex with them anymore.”

Direct Download: 2012.08.10_WL_097_-_Thats_What_Sheehan_Said_with_Mike_Sheehan.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen Right Here: [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.08.10_WL_097_-_Thats_What_Sheehan_Said_with_Mike_Sheehan.mp3]

LINKS

Friend Mike on Facebook

Jeff’s Twitter: @jsteinbrunner

Follow Hank on Twitter: @Hank_Thompson and website: SuckProfessor.com

SUPPORT THE SHOW

If you’ve enjoyed the show, please share a link on your Twitter or Facebook or Tumblr or Church Bulletin Board. Thanks! Also, clean your ceiling fan blades every once-in-a-while!

Aug 4

Rover took over…

Some smart ass people are about to do some bad ass shit over on Mars. No, the people aren’t there. They’re here. But they designed, built and sent a thing over there and it’s pretty fucking cool. Curious? Watch this:

http://youtu.be/pzqdoXwLBT8

The lander has to go from 13000 miles an hour to zero in 7 minutes, all while anti-invasion cannons shoot lasers at it from the surface. Just kidding.

But damn. I mean, damn. That’s impressive stuff. And it’s real, too. It’s about to happen. Early Monday morning at 12:31 CST it’s scheduled go down. I’ll certainly be watching, assuming I don’t have any important dick jokes to tweet.

It’s all the more impressive because it happens without any control from Earth. Radio waves take 14 minutes to reach Mars so direct control is impossible. Instead we must rely on the on board computer to handle every step and decision during the process.

Previous rovers on Mars (The Spirit and the McConaughey) were landed using a pyramid of inflatable air bags that bounced along the surface until coming to rest, before deflating and releasing the robotic rovers to sniff about and pee on trees. It’s both a crude and elegant technique but isn’t feasible due to the weight of the Curiosity, which is about 2000 lbs. It’s about the size of a Mini Cooper, or one Chevy Suburban driver. It’s nuclear-powered, has six 20-inch aluminum wheels, all kinds of kickass cameras and sensors, an on board science lab, a laser for vaporizing rocks and a soft serve machine for any martians that want a refreshing treat. Despite all that, it still struggles with iTunes, like most computers.

It’s just plain fuckin’ awesome and I’m glad to be alive at a time when we can accomplish such things. I’m also glad to be alive in a time when I can get a General Tso’s Chicken lunch special for under seven bucks.

Check out Phil Plait’s excellent blog, Bad Astronomy, about space and science for more info, plus lots more goodies for space dweebs like myself.

 

 

Aug 1

Climbing the Roarprate Ladder

This video says so much about our world. It’s both beautiful and absurd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfiZPXsQvrQ

To learn more about the lives and struggles of these bears, click here.

 

Episode 096 - Anger Issues with Mikey Manker

Comedian Mikey Manker returns to the podcast for a one-on-one discussion about online dating, bullying stories, Hank breaks down why he almost punched a friend for putting water in his buttcrack, the need for therapy, How Oompa Loompas breed, science, particle accelerators, space, the hope for Heaven, and Esquire’s Big Black Book of Crap. Plus a lot more. Very personal episode.

out of context quote:

“Boy, that Jabba the Hut, man, that guy really drove a hard bargain.”

Direct Download: 2012.07.27_WL_096_-_Anger_Issues_with_Mikey_Manker.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen right here: [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.07.27_WL_096_-_Anger_Issues_with_Mikey_Manker.mp3]

LINKS

Friend Mikey on Facebook

Hank on Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

Note from Hank:

Sorry for the delay in getting an episode out. Life got busy.

Also, check out this video I made. Go!

http://youtu.be/rdqB9ocxprU

InkyTweet - My Lady Leggy Humps

InkyTweet Hank Thompson Humping a Leg

Click to make bigger

Follow me on Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

Jul 5

It’s the Yeast you could do

I had the privilege of appearing on the Chicago-based podcast, Rye Bread Radio. Had a fun time talking with Akeem and Brian. We solved the world’s problems, one drip at a time.

Here’s THE LINK to my episode.

Click around for other episodes with all kinds of interesting people from Chicago’s performance/creative community.

Jul 5

Episode 095 - Icy with Dan Friesen

Comedian and podcaster Dan Friesen returns to the podcast with Hank and Joe to talk about Mr Bean, Colt Cabana chops fans, nips, Hank reaches an embarrassing milestone, how Dan’s musical references annoy Hank, childhood pets, the huma huma nooka nooka akuwa aa fish, comedic expertise, and Hank challenges Dan’s strong anti-zombie beliefs. Plus a lot more for your ears.

out of context quote:

“Take that, cats!”

Direct Download: 2012.07.05_WL_095_-_Icy_with_Dan_Friesen.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen Right Here: [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.07.05_WL_095_-_Icy_with_Dan_Friesen.mp3]

LINKS

Dan’s Podcast: The Friesen Point and Twitter: @friesenpoint

Joe’s Godzilla Remix Project: godzillaremix.tumblr.com and Twitter: @JoeMcAdam

Hank’s Website: SuckProfessor.com and Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

SUPPORT THE SHOW

Sign in to iTunes and say nice things and click on the stars thingie. IT REALLY HELPS. PLEASE DO IT! Also, sweep the sidewalk. Your neighbors and their dogs will appreciate it!

TRAILER FOR HANK’S LATEST FILM:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1JwT-cawVw

Episode 094 - Natalie Jose

Comedian and singer Natalie Jose joins Hank and Matt for a discussion about the Star Trek movie, the most extreme genital, Natalie’s three bands, the Chicago Women’s Funny Festival, Taste of Chicago? More like Waste of Chicago, Hank has his knowledge of women tested, Natalie almost passes out in public and gets hit on by her rescuers, taking improv classes and failure. Plus a ton more fun!

out of context quote:

“Truth in comedy. Am I right, Officer Riggs?”

Direct Download: 2012.06.27_WL_094_-_Natalie_Jose.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen Right Here [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.06.27_WL_094_-_Natalie_Jose.mp3]

ASKPLAY

Hank is a Professional Advice Expert. Send your question or dilemma to “HankThompsonComedy@gmail.com” and Hank will fix all your problems!

LINKS

The Weepin Willlows on YouTube and Twitter: @NatalieJose

Matt’s Tumblr: MattRiggs.Tumblr.com and Twitter: @MattRiggs

Hank’s website: SuckProfessor.com and Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

SUPPORT THE SHOW

Help us grow our audience by signing into iTunes and leaving a positive review. Share a link on your Facebook wall. Also, sweep your sidewalks occasionally. It’ll cut down on sidewalk bits getting on your carpet.

Region’s Cutest Baby Nom Noms Grapes at Vinyard - EXCLUSIVE Director’s Commentary

YouTube is where stars are born. Stars such as kittens sleeping with puppies, ducks befriending foxes, and turtles humping shoes. And babies. Babies smiling. Babies giggling. Babies eating stuff.

I’ve been related to several babies and one of the ones my brother and his wife created was with us at family friend’s vinyard. We noticed he was enjoying the Smuck out of some grapes so like all weird uncles I whipped out my iPhone and started filming against his will and despite his lack of sentience.

What was born was the YouTube sensation (15 hits as of this post): Region’s Cutest Baby Nom Noms Grapes at Vinyard.

To help it stand out amongst the teething masses I made a trailer. Because it’s a trailer it spoils the entire film. Here it is:

And here’s the full length film:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fmce8xXvNU0&hd=1

Special thanks to Coldplay for letting me use their song, Paradise. Those dudes are gonna make it someday.

Wear Your Sunscream

This guy drove a milk truck for 30 years. Now the left side of his face appears far more aged than his right. He’s only 66. (via GapersBlock.com)

Click the image to read the article. It’s called photo-aging, a result of longterm exposure to UVA rays. He hopes to surgically repair the left side of his face but he could also get a milk truck with the steering wheel on the right and work for another 30 years. That’s the solution I came up with.

I actually find the image kind of hard to look at, no offense to the gentleman in question. No doubt he’s a nice man. He delivers milk! How could he not be?

It’s a stark reminder of the inevitability of getting old and that youth is temporary. I inherited from my father a fear of old age and view my later years with dread. Friends dying, body falling apart inside and out, hope waning, pill organizers, smelling like wet burlap, falling asleep at bus stops, weird yellowed spatulas and cutting boards, etc.

Whelp, I’m off to buy sunscreen.

Episode 093 - Bill Cruz and Mikey Manker

Comedian and d*ck picker Mikey Manker and comedian and d*ck pickee Bill Cruz joins Hank on the podcast. Topics includes: telemundo babes, how to make corn tortillas, the joys of divorce, Hank’s first feature gig, Falstaff the Shakespeare guy, the phenomenon of dick drunk, Bill’s reign as prom prince, the great Shawshank Redemption racism debate, and a heck of a lot more hilarious and fun talk. For your ears!

out of context quotes:

“Hi, I’m Co Guest, Christopher Guest’s son, Co.”

“Don’t consider something funny just because I laugh at it.”

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Hank is launching an advice column/podcast feature called Askplay. Hank is a professional advice expert and will solve any of life’s conundrums. Email your question to “HankThompsonComedy@gmail.com”   Do it!

Direct Download: 2012.06.19_WL_093_-_Bill_Cruz_and_Mikey_Manker.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen right here: [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.06.19_WL_093_-_Bill_Cruz_and_Mikey_Manker.mp3]

LINKS:

Mikey’s Twitter: @MikeyManker

Bill’s Twitter: @BillCruz

Hank’s Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

Sign in to iTunes and leave us a positive review. Promote the show ON TWITTER. Also, sweep any rat droppings that may be on your sidewalk. Gross.

dumbass skates into wall. (with bruise!)

Finally got around to putting this up. It’s been sitting on my computer for a few years. It’s a man almost killing himself for absolutely no reason.

http://youtu.be/0W00Jm4jS2s

It occurred to me a few days after it happened how close I came to doing some serious damage. That could’ve easily snapped my neck or cracked open my head. Death would have been preferable to becoming a drool factory that can’t scratch an itch. The take-away is: if you haven’t ice skated in twenty years don’t challenge the wall to duel. Even if you don’t lose, you won’t win.

Luckily, along with a slightly bruised knee, this was the extent of the injury.

Hank Thompson's bruised arm from dumbass skates into wall

InkyTweet - Zombie Makeup Sex

Zombie Girlfriend Actress InkyTweets

Click to make bigger.

Follow me on Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

Episode 092 - Joyceover work with Mike Joyce

Comedian and guy Mike Joyce joins Hank and Joe McAdam on the podcast. Topics include chest hair, Mike witnessed a motorcycle crash, bush-grooming for married men, the glory Troll 2 and Best Worst Movie, Hank’s loneliness, pervy furries, the Kiwani’s Club, religion, listeners call in and mercilessly bababooey Hank and we solve the classic debate: Waffles, Pancakes or French Toast? (The answer is Crepes.) Plus a whole lot more!

ANNOUNCEMENT: Hank is launching an advice column/segment called Askplay. As a professional advice expert, Hank is qualified to offer advice on any topic. Email: “HankThompsonComedy@gmail.com” with a question or quandry and Hank will solve your problem. Your email may be answered on the show!

out of context quotes:

“He’d be Robocop’s boss.”

“I’d say it was more of an exasperated guffaw.”

Direct Download: 2012.06.12_WL_092_-_Joyceover_Work_with_Mike_Joyce.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen Right Here:[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.06.12_WL_092_-_Joyceover_Work_with_Mike_Joyce.mp3]

LINKS

Mike’s website: MikeJoyceComedy.com and Twitter: @NotMikeJoyce

Joe’s website: JoeMcAdam.com and Twitter: @JoeMcAdam

Hank’s website: SuckProfessor.com and Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

SUPPORT THE SHOW

Sign in to iTunes and leave a positive review or mention us on facebook or tell the chick at the McDonald’s drive-thru window. Also, rescue a local squirrel. Stop the squirrelicide!