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Episode 086 - Pat O’Rourke and Rob Gregory and Me

InkyTweet - Rick Santorum reads his favorite Christmas book

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InkyTweets: Putting Pen to Pixel

Awhile back I had the idea of animating some of my tweets. The Internet needs more clutter, I told myself. But I quickly realized I might be biting off more than I could draw since animation, according to available research, is a huge pain in the ass. So the idea shifted to drawing a cartoon of a tweet, a single image. Or not a cartoon, exactly, a drawing. Is there a difference? Cartoons are drawn, but you can’t call all drawings a cartoon. Oh, who cares? Anyway, after a few months in the rock tumbler the idea finally got spat out into action. I picked up a dry-erase marker and started marking.

I can draw, sort of, maybe a little better than your average untrained dolt. But I’m not going to let a lack of training or talent stop me from trying.

I decided to call them InkyTweets. Shrug.

The tweet itself, if not a direct caption for the drawing, will at minimum be a loose inspiration for the drawtoon. Whether it makes sense is entirely up to chance. I really don’t have any idea what or why I’m doing this. Maybe people will enjoy them. Maybe they won’t. Maybe neither will happen because more likely than not no one will notice. Or maybe I’ll just look like an idiot who makes bad decisions about how to spend his time.

Alright, enough words. Here’s the first one:

Follow me on Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

The End of an Error

Yet another website ascends to spend eternity in the great digital archive in the sky, a place filled with failed hopes, unrealistic expectations and poor execution. Nonetheless it’s a happy place, for when not basking in the warm web-ready light surrounding the throne of DOS, dead websites download delicious grapes, transfer images of soft comfortable clouds and play ping pong with jimi-hendrix.org.

Thank DOS I only paid for one year.

Episode 085 - Just the Gratuity with Matt Riggs

Winners & Losers - Episodes 081(Megan Gailey) & 082(Dan Ronan)

Two episode update! Hey carbon units! Yeah, you. Check out these episodes of the podcast.

Episode 081 - Bedroom Sighs with Megan Gailey (@MeganGailey)

[caption id=”attachment_1967” align=”alignright” width=”161” caption=”Megan Gailey (above)”][/caption]

Episode 081 welcomes comedian Megan Gailey back to the podcast. She’s a powerhouse of talent, and not just in the dressing herself department. Audiences first see her warm smile, classy accoutrements and confident demeanor but are quickly thrust into the tormented hellhole that is her mind, laughing and screaming the whole way. I’ve seen her command a room like a serial killer in a classroom on parent teacher conference day; try and ignore her! Plus she’s just fun and smart to talk to. I asked her what it’s like having your gender constantly pointed out in comedy, she shares her experience almost working at the Super Bowl and then attending it and seeing the Madonna. Plus we play another round of the famous DALAI LAMA or PORNSTAR game, the game of teats and tweets. We were joined by comedian and human tempura Joe Fernandez.

I first met Megan over three years ago in improv class, level 1, when she was making up a missed class by sitting in with ours for the day. I remember thinking, “Who the hell this hot bitch think she is being all attractive AND funnier than the rest of us? Sheeit.” And then I got into stand up and there she was. Now we’re tennis buddies. It’s cool. Oh, she also played an important role in the short film I made. See if you can spot her!

It won’t be long before she’s famous so I hope to have her back on the show as a guest as often as possible before she gets all over the magazine covers and starts living in a plane that never lands or something.

Direct Download: 2012.02.20_WL_081_-_Bedroom_Sighs_with_Megan_Gailey.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen right here: [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.02.20_WL_081_-_Bedroom_Sighs_with_Megan_Gailey.mp3]

LINKS

Megan’s co-hosts her own podcast: NakedSportsLive.com and is a member of the hit comedy hit squad, Your Funniest Friends.

EPISODE 082 - Dan Ronan (@RonanComedy)

[caption id=”attachment_1978” align=”alignleft” width=”140” caption=”Dan’s Twitter Avatar. Shrug.”][/caption]

Episode 082 is with my good friend Dan Ronan. We haven’t been friends long but the times we’ve shared together have been some of the most stimulating of my life. Oh wait, I’m thinking of egg rolls. Crunchy on the outside, filled with Yahweh-knows-what on the inside— the world’s perfect food.  Dan’s swell, too. Not egg roll swell but pretty close. He and I are going to know each other for a very long time because we’re both terrified of the world and that’s what keeps a person alive.

Dan’s still young but his soul is already shriveled up and dead. That’s why he’s such a funny comedian. After I ask him why the fuck I haven’t been booked at the show he co-books (The Lincoln Lodge) we trade childhood memories and insecurities and fears and shit like that. He’s like the little brother I always wanted to ignore.I don’t really remember all of it but it was a revealing conversation.

Aside from the constant eye contact it never got uncomfortable. Here!:

Direct download: 2012.02.27_WL_082_-_Dan_Ronan.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen right here:[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.02.27_WL_082_-_Dan_Ronan.mp3]

LINKS

Lincoln Lodge website: TheLincolnLodge.com Dan’s Twitter: @RonanComedy

Thanks, reader. Now get back to your regularly scheduled distraction.

Episode 084 - Bombs Away with Kevin Hogan

Comedian Kevin Hogan joins Hank and Dan on the podcast. Topics discussed: When to request donations, chromosomes, apartment to attract the ladies, Kevin’s Bombing Story, Kevin gets into politics to take on Big Scholarship, CSI: Minnesota for real? No, turning down Seth Mcfarlane, Kevin was a cigarette fairy and how he got fired, Dan gets fired up about podcast pushback, SEGMENT: HANK WROTE A PLAY FOR SOME REASON, podcasts and parents oh my!, Kevin and Dan’s “friendship”, ideas for spicing up an open mic, plus a bunch more sh*t. Fun for everybody.

out of context quotes:

“When did I fail wizard school?!”

“Hey, it doesn’t say no creeps within 500 feet.”

Direct Download: 2012.03.12_WL_084_-_Bombs_Away_with_Kevin_Hogan.mp3

Download via iTunes

Or listen right here:[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.03.12_WL_084_-_Bombs_Away_with_Kevin_Hogan.mp3]

LINKS:

Dan and Kevin’s podcast: The Friesen Point

Hank’s Blog: SuckProfessor.com and Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

Let your friends on Twitter or Facebook know you enjoy the show. Do it, foo’! Or sign in to iTunes and leave a positive review to help us get more listeners. Also, throw away some of those plastic cups you haven’t used in years.

A Day in the Life of Marc Maron on Hulu

Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me, 30 Days, The Greatest Movie Ever Sold) produces this series on Hulu in which we get a glimpse into the day in the life of an interesting person. In this episode he follows Marc Maron (Your iPod, My iPod).

For a comedy/podcasting geek like myself this is pure mana from athiest heaven.

I couldn’t help but notice the music and how effectively it is employed. Spurlock creates added layers of intensity and sensitivity with the choices he made. He could have gone with light-hearted fluff that simply moved the story along, or served only as bumpers to the commercials, but the tone here seems to fit perfectly the tone of the subject. It fits the story and somehow adds an element of time that goes beyond the aforementioned “Day.”

To me, it’s a good example of the function music can serve in a presentation such as this, or a short, or a film, or whatever. To state the obvious, music sets the tone. It’s a guide for the audience not just on when to feel but how— an unseen conductor facing the audience, chopstick rising, falling, pointing and swooshing, until the evening ends, and we finally get to go home and take our shoes off.

Well-played, Spurlock.

Winners and Losers - ep 079 - Pete Holmes

Episode 079 of the podcast is a big one. Pete Holmes was the guest. He may not be a household name, but he’s certainly a householmed name… God, what a terrible way to start this post. Get it now, ya holmosexuals!

Direct Download: 2012.02.06_WL_079_-_Pete_Holmes.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen right here:[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.02.06_WL_079_-_Pete_Holmes.mp3]

Aside from being a headlining comedian, Pete writes for television, does voice over work (Ever hear of the ETrade baby? Of course you have.) and has published cartoons in the New Yorker. His sketchwork on the Internet is prolific and enviable and he does his own podcast, You Made it Weird with Pete Holmes on Nerdist.

Begun in October 2011, it instantly elbowed its way into my regular rotation, becoming a must-listen for me and my billions of friends on the Internet. A majority of his guests are accomplished comedians, many of whose achievements match his own as well as others who toil in different facets of the laughter industry. Pete’s favorite pommel horses are comedy, sex/relationships and religion and he approaches each topic like a malfunctioning tennis ball machine, peppering the listener with varying intensities of felty bruiseyness. The times he goes down Memory Highway with the comedy friends he started with in Chicago are of particular interest to me because I feel/hope I’ll one day pass similar signposts. It’s entertaining. It’s thoughtful. It’s pure Pete Holmes.

He was kind (or bored) enough to do my podcast. For all he knew I was just another Twitter jackass who asked him to do a podcast. He didn’t have to say yes. But he did. And that’s the kind of risk-taking that makes Pete such a strong performer, as I got to see for myself the night before the interview. A lady friend and I went to the Up Comedy Club at Second City to see him headline. He was everything I want to be on stage: tall, white, hilarious and paid. As for the lady friend… I can report that that relationship ended as quickly as it didn’t begin. Coffee is for closers. I drink tea.

Every time I watch a headliner perform a full set in front of a paying audience I observe the show with the eagerness of newly sentient robot pouring through a stack of books, seeking wisdom and insight— something, anything that could help me grow as a comedian. It’s kind of an awful way to be and is one of the things I lament as a comic: that I’ll never be a pure audience member, a work-a-day dolt out to see a performance, hoping for a good time and genuine laughs and that whichever babe I’m with eventually starts rubbing my thigh in anticipation of eventual toe-curling penetration. Instead I study the complex psychological interaction between the performer and the audience, the interaction I spend most of my time parsing and dissecting as I work on my own stand up career. Doesn’t stop it from being impressive; just makes it impressive in a different way.

After the show Pete was seated at the merch table (‘merchandise’ for you civies (‘civilians’ for you norms)). I introduced myself as the Twitter jackass and we settled on a time to record the show.

I’m always surprised that you can just walk into hotels, go to any elevator and wander around any floor, especially nice ones like where Pete was staying. (He assured me they’re rarely as nice.) I feel like I’m supposed to check in at the desk or something, let them know I’m not a psycho. But I suppose such a requirement would hamper the pizza delivery and prostitute industries.

Anyway, it was a great interview. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback from people who’ve listened. The one frustration was that I screwed up the levels on the mixing board, making my voice sound a little off. See that picture there. All I had to do was turn that knob on the left down. DAMMIT! SO ANNOYING!

It’s really not that bad, you’ll see, but I get especially irritated when a problem’s solution is so easy. Thanks for reading.

LINKS:

Check out Pete’s website: PeteHolmes.com and follow him on Twitter: @PeteHolmez

Episode 083 - Drew Michael

Comedian Drew Michael (@DrewMComedy) joins Hank and Mike on the podcast. Topics include: the importance of insult accuracy, baldness and prison fear, Mike went to maximum security prison and then performed at the opening night of the Chicago Laugh Factory, recent changes in the Chicago Comedy scene, Hank saw Drew open for Jim Jeffries in 2008, Mike’s being filmed for a documentary, Life’s Too Short, Three Stooges Trailer, selling out to sell out and the art of compromising art, how Drew learned to calm down, Facebook arguing, scene beefs, how the mind f*cks with reality, NEWS SEGMENT: Drew Michael Hears the News!, the slope of justice bends toward freedom. Plus more!

out of context quotes:

“No geniuses as far as Trivial Pursuit goes.”

“Water? Smoke? What do I look like? A convenience store?”

“I have some open ligaments sticking out.”

Direct Download: 2012.03.06_WL_083_-_Drew_Michael.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen right here:[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.03.06_WL_083_-_Drew_Michael.mp3]

LINKS:

Drew’s show: ComediansYouShouldKnow.com and website: DrewMichaelComedy.com

Mike’s website: MikeStanleyComedy.com and Twitter: @mikestanley1

Hank’s blog: SuckProfessor.com and Twitter: @Hank_Thompson

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

If you like the show please share a link on your twitter or facebook. Also, choose one drawer and clean it out. You don’t need all those sauce packets!

Episode 082 - Dan Ronan

Winners and Losers - ep 078 - Stephen Markley

Episode 078 of the podcast featured Stephen Markley. He’s a writer/author. He’s got credits coming out of his fingertips. We met at an open mic about a year ago. He wasn’t there to do comedy but instead did a brief reading from his book, Publish This Book. We chatted briefly about doing the podcast and ten months later I remembered and invited him on. Here’s the result:

out of context quotes:

“No one’s ever had a healthy relationship. It just doesn’t exist.”

“It’s like a choose-your-own-adventure except someone already made the choices for you. AKA a book.”

Direct Download: 2012.01.26_WL_078_-_Stephen_Markley.mp3

Download via iTunes

Listen Right Here: [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/winnersandlosers/2012.01.26_WL_078_-_Stephen_Markley.mp3]

Stephen also writes a regular column for the Red Eye called Off the Markley that covers movies, politics and culture. I’ve become a regular reader of it and you should to. The guy is pretty good at putting words together and as a person who for a long time wanted to put words together for a living I can express only heartfelt jealousy at his publishing achievements.

[caption id=”” align=”alignright” width=”201” caption=”Always judge a book by its author.”][/caption]

It’s a real book, by the way. By a real publisher, made of real paper and real ink. (digital versions available). The guy isn’t even in his 30s and he already published a book, which makes me think I gotta finish one of the several novels I started between video game/masturbation/confusion sessions in college. I got this one idea. It takes place in the future. The world has run out of oil. People cook with butter only. The two leads are more alike than they’d care to admit, two sides of the same loin, you might say. After implausibly trading identities they match wits, recipes and more throughout the story in a race-against-thyme free-range thriller that spans the Northern Illinois Metropolitan region. It’s called Butter Face Off. It’s mostly just dudes running and beating each other up with prison trays. There’s also a single sentence multi-page sex scene to keep the reader excited. And some shit about insect-shaped cars. I’ll start chapter 2 eventually.

So yeah, check it out. It’s a great episode that covers a lot of ground, from the usual Winners and Losers fare of body fluids and body fluid harvesting to the intricacies of the literary world, with a good dose of politics for you head-nodders out there. We figure out Lost and share our most intimate desires in another round of ROMANTIC FANTASIES, which is a segment we do on the show where I make guests uncomfortable by asking them to describe a romantic fantasy. Stephen’s not a comedian by trade but he seems to think like one, which is probably a compliment?

I’d like to have him on the show again to talk movies and politics and to argue about all sorts of things about which I’m too ignorant to have an opinion.

Words from a better man

I came across this a while back and have been meaning to post it here for some time but have been encumbered with distraction and laziness. It’s absolutely great.

To My Old Master

It’s a letter written in 1865 by a former slave, Jourdon Anderson, to his old master in response to being asked to return to the farm to keep working. The guy’s writing is deft and skillful. Very smart and easy to read. Take a few minutes and read it. You’ll be glad you did.

Episode 081 - Bedroom Sighs with Megan Gailey

Episode 080 - Sean Flannery

Comedian and podcaster Sean Flannery (@Sean_M_Flannery) joins Hank and Joe on the podcast. Topics include: Sean’s sports parody show: Visitor’s Locker Room, sports sensationalism and the role it plays in society, tribalism, America’s Religion: Football, stadiums, Hank solves the NFL’s concussion problem, Robot Jocks, Green Bay’s unique organizational structure, birthdays and Birthday shows, How Sean developed his one man show Never Been to Paris, the UCB, crazy drunk stories from dudes, Sean (and his very tolerant wife) lived with his comb over, Drive, Bronson and Real Steel. Plus more and more!